Trying to look at the positive side is not the easiest. It doesn't take much for someone to say it; but I am a definite victim of the 'grass is greener on the other side mentality." Victim or not, It's high time this must stop. This is the one good thing that came out of today. Ellwyn's finally using his cat shelves.

Rhinestone Eyes

Sometimes, very rarely, I feel like listening to only one song all day, day after day. Right now that song happens to be:

Oh, how I love this album. Better late than never, huh? I feel like being cooped up in this room all day today thanks to my raging hormones, and my poor family has to bear the brunt of my downswing attitude. I'm sorry.

Does anybody have any suggestions on what to do when you feel like this? Any ideas are most welcome!

'Wear the Old Coat and Buy the New Book'

Just a couple weeks ago, I found a new obsession. The Song of Ice and Fire series by George R. R. Martin (Yes, I know, I'm far behind everyone else who has already appropriated Winterfell as family turf).My life made sense again. Rooting for people who make no real difference to your personal life is the best thing to do ever. And celebrity crushes are nothing compared to crushes on fictional figures. I was so happy when I could upload the first 5 books of the series (the ones out so far) on my Kindle. Sigh! my Kindle, my whole and soul. And then, this happens...

There is a big fat square on one side of the screen! I don't know why this happens. I tried to research online, and ended up getting increasingly upset with this situation...The Amazon warranty lasts only a year? Are you fucking kidding me? Especially knowing how common this screen fuck-up problem is, this feels slightly premeditated to me. What is with this whole thing of planned obsolescence? The box says 'Assembled in China,' and looking at how often Amazon is updating their Kindle generations, it feels like a small vindication on their part to knowingly make older generations obsolete. Of course, I'm screaming theoretical bloody murder, while sitting on my ass not really doing anything myself. I wish I could say that I don't really care, and pooh-pooh the matter entirely. But I am, also a minion in this larger game. I'm just a rat in a metaphorical Skinner Box, conditioned now to love my Kindle. Can I also add that Amazon will not exchange products sent from India? International shipping and returns, my foot!

All this is especially ironic considering how against the Kindle I used to be. I used to harp on endlessly about the organic process of reading. How holding a book woven out of paper and thread makes you feel emotions that electronic reading devices cannot possibly achieve. How wrong I was. And now look what happened. Hope you enjoy this brand new slap in the face, child.

Spanish Struggles

I'm trying to currently download and run the Rosetta Stone 3.4.5 Version on my iffy, crappy, almost an octogenarian of a computer. In Bombay, the internet is often demonic, and has a mind of its own. Needless to say, I have a small heart that starts palpitating almost audibly anytime I have to do something like this, and the fact that the internet gave out at 97.9% of my download for a whole 9 minutes made me pace and yell at inanimate objects more than usual.

Why, God, WHY! 

A question I offer up to the heavens everyday.

Anyway, it's loading now. After being downloaded. (A 1.13GB download took 2 days. Does that put my troubles into perspective now?)

The painful process:
1. Look online on http://thepiratebay.org for a legit torrent to download.
2. After months of searching, find a file that seems appropriate.
3. Use Bittorrent, and hope its friendly.
4.Wait an eon, or two.
5. Download Daemon Lite Tools and burn what you downloaded onto a separate drive that the program creates on your computer.
6. Run Setup.
7. Hope you don't die of palpitations.

Rosetta Stone, better teach me some Español!

In life, the monsters win

I feel like I'm a sitting duck facing a firing squad at every instant, while life is passing me by. So many other people I know have made great successes of their lives, and I still wonder whether I'm an Emily Dickinson in the making. I can pray to not die an unknown with an eponymous book of writing published after me. I want to taste victory unabashedly in my youth. Hell! I've already started graying and thinking of solutions to cover up my stragglers!

I think the trouble starts while you're still young. Dreams are so palpable, throbbing like a beating heart. And after situations and circumstances magic you away from the excitable creatures you used to be as children, dreams become wispy fairies, floating away; beckoning you with tender promises. It's not fair, watching other people grow up and move out of limited spheres. My tongue, which has tasted many flavors, has now turned an impenetrable constant taste of bitter. Everything seems impossible, unattainable.

The physical embodiment of my conscience tells me I should drop my negativity and unleash it with a new fervor. From the burning pot of gold come malleable and ductile patterns in exquisiteness. Use it, she says.
I'm going to try. This is a first attempt.

Work stats.

I've been out of a permanent working situation for a while now. Admittedly, on purpose. I think I've been working/making my own money since I've been legal to work and I don't regret taking some personal time off.


Of course, this has also meant that I've had to encounter my fair share of people asking me 'why'. "Why are you not working full-time? There's no real future in freelance!" So on and so forth.

Well, to all you questioners out there, I finally took the plunge. Again. Work starts tomorrow. Scared shitless? Sure am. But if there's any solace in the past, I know this will be good too.

Most people lie about this- the love towards work. I think most people would be perfectly okay doing nothing if they had the finances that allowed them to do this. Except for those who have the money already and work for themselves.

That IS the dream. To be your own boss.

At my last job, I had to wake up everyday at 5:30 AM and take a train all the way to South Bombay to be at work on time. Living in Bombay and travelling by train, especially during the hellish monsoon season sucks so much ass, it's really far from being funny.  So it was a big deciding factor for me this time(and thankfully, the freedom to let me hold off on taking a bad job just for the money). Travelling time now- 20 mins. Booyah!

Fingers Crossed.

Boredom and Mundaneness...

...go hand in hand with pregnant pauses. You read the newspaper everyday and are mindboggled about the amount of insanity out there.

 What the hell is going on?Certain people tell me that it's just me; and being told to wait in the lobby for three hours for a scheduled job interview means nothing. Suck it up, get used to it.

Whatever happened to good manners and non-judgment? Does such a thing even exist anymore? Hell, I would be lying if I said I'm not judging someone or the other everyday just for a laugh. Charlie Sheen, I do blame you for the state you're in. Even if you don't see it yourself, still.

I blame the media, the flying paparazzi and the manic minds surrounding us. Inception may have been a movie screenplay written not that long ago, but the entire concept of planting an idea in someone's mind is nothing new.

I wish for so many things. A simple non-judgmental day for once with no staring. Is that too much to ask for? India, you will never enter the First World no matter what you do; unless the staring and judgment stops.

Let's do something, and not just call someone a ch*&t reactively every time it happens.